losing your child's respect...in 3 short and easy steps

EmergingMummy.comToday is Carnival Day, and if you want to participate, it is not too late!  Or if you just want to read what other moms are saying about parenting practices, just click on the picture link and head over to Emerging Mummy.

And now, on to the main show...

3 steps to losing your child's respect...all tested and tried by yours truly...guaranteed not to fail.

Step 1. Be Dishonest

As a parent we have so many opportunities here...really the possibilities are endless, but as promised, I will give you some tested and approved techniques.

Ex. A   Say that you will do something, like say, play a board game, and then after the day is gone and you have frittered away time doing things like checking that facebook post for the millionth time, tell your daughter that there isn't time anymore to play her game.

 Ex. B  Tell your child not to do something, like "don't climb on the back of the arm chair", and then watch them continually climb on the back of the arm chair, only disciplining the action when it leads to harm of a person or property.  This of course leads them to think that your rules are only nice guidelines...um, I seem to look at God's rules this way a lot too.  That may be part of the problem here.

Ex. C  Explain to your children how important healthy eating is, and then don't follow through on that yourself...a nice double standard is guaranteed to throw a wrench in the works later if not sooner.  I would like to just move on now before I think too much about this one...

Step 2.  Build a Wall

Building a wall between you and your child is much easier than you may think...you may in fact, already have one there, and just not be aware of it.  But if in doubt, read on...I also have many tips in this area.

Ex. A, B, C & D  Yell, use belittling remarks, use sarcasm, give a well backed up defense of why you are right...

Ex. E & F  Make sure that your child knows that in every fight, that there is a clear winner, and that you are the clear winner, no matter what.

Ex. G  Spend free time on yourself or your spouse entirely, because "you spend all day with your kids anyway."

Step 3.  Never Say You're Sorry

This is the clincher, if you are unable to manage all of the above steps, this one will surely not fail you, in fact, this should probably be step one, because if this step is mastered, then all of the above is really almost unnecessary.  Every time you say you are sorry, you are breaking down that wall that you just built, and you are most likely being an honest person, undoing all previous work.  So by all accounts, this is the most important step to master.  And the one for which I have no examples.  The problem on this step, is that you can always say "I am sorry", no matter what else has passed before, it is the only step that resists time, that can be the undoing of any good work on the above.  You have been adequately warned therefore, to avoid the apology at all costs...foolproof I tell you...foolproof.


Kacie said...

This is great. My dillema is that I can eat healthy and tell my kid to eat healthy, but if my husband eats however, he wants to, there are still mixed messages! :)

I survived the exact same experience from my parents, though, so I won't worry about it. :)

dulce de leche said...

So true! <3 I love the reminder to practice honesty, humility and connection with our kidlets.

Mihee said...

Love how you came at this topic from a different angle. Thought-provoking and compelling! Love the reminder again about honesty and how children can always pick up on dishonesty.

Sarah Bessey said...

So right on. Love this. Thank you!

jackandellasmum said...

Oh, Katie, this is satire at it's best - funny, biting, and oh so true and poignant and frustratingly common. I can see myself in so many of these things. Thanks for displaying a bit of your human frailty with this one. I hesitate to call it "sin" because then I'd be labeling myself a sinner right along with you. And wouldn't you know it, I am one anyway. Thanks for being a fellow mom with a hard, but redeeming story to tell. (hope that all makes sense... I'm still feeling the sting of truth here!)

Katie said...

Thanks everyone for the kind words and encouragement. You know how you always learn more if you teach someone else (or in this case write a blog about it)...well, this little bit of satire has been spot on for some of life's challenges this week...glad God gave me this material to think through this all week while dealing with the little obstacles that drive me crazy. I am glad I could be some sort of blessing in your lives, as well, this week.